Who's on First?

I thought I would share one of the crazy scenarios of my daily life that occurred yesterday.
I was in a department store of sorts. I say "of sorts," because it was a TJ Maxx store. (I am not ashamed to be labeled a 'Maxxanista.') Anyhow, I was perusing the handbags, and a woman passed me in the aisle. We looked at each other and smiled.

Several minutes later, we met up again in the housewares/gourmet food section (surprise!) and the conversation that ensued I will try to reconstruct as close as my brain will allow. Bear in mind I can remember details of having my tonsils out when I was under two years old, so my long term memory is pretty good):

Her: "Do I know you?"
Me: "I don't know. Do I know you?"
Her: "I think I do.....but where.....?"
Me:  "Me too you. Hmmm....."
Her: "You think you know me?"
Me:  "Well, I wouldn't go that far......I mean, not KNOW-know, just, you know...(laughing at the verbiage)"
Her:  "Yeah. Me too. I mean (laughs) I guess I know me. I should by now, being as old as I am!
Me:  "So we're talking about you knowing you, then?"
Her:   "Well, I probably don't really know YOU. I mean, you know. KNOW-know. But still......."
Me:  "Who's on first?"
Her:  "First? On what?"
Me:  "It's an old Abbott and Costello bit......."
Her:  (Looks very confused)
We both stand in awkward silence for 30 seconds)
Me:  "So, are you ready for Christmas?"
Her:  "I'm Jewish but we have a Christmas tree every year. I call it a large, pointy Channukah bush."
Me:  "Oh, that's funny. My ex-husband was Jewish and he always had a tree and presents hidden under the bed on Christmas morning as a child."
Her:  "Where's he from?"
Me:  "Brooklyn. Lived on Ocean Parkway."
Her:  "I know Ocean Parkway. My father lived there as a kid. "
Me:  "Maybe your father was my husband. (laughs)"
Her:  "Wow- now that's something to think about......"
Me:  "No, no, no- I was just kidding, of course! (laughs) Because then you'd be my daughter, and I'm not that old, and we wouldn't be wondering if we knew each other. Or if we knew ourselves."
Her:  "Oh yes. That. I feel I do know you. Maybe I've just seen you around....."
Me:  "Well, that's a distinct possibility, because I get around (smiles)."
Her:  "You just look so familiar to me....."
Me:  "I can also get familiar. In the right circumstances, of course."
Her:  (Totally not "getting" my witty banter) "Maybe...... do you ever go to California?"
Me:  "Every summer. And used to live there. Do you think........?"
Her:  "Yes. Yes. I'm sure that's it. It was in Long Beach."
Me:  "No, that's not where I go. In fact I've only been there once, when I took a cruise to Mexico. That was in 2002."
Her:  "Celebrity?"
Me:  "Me? Nooooooo......"
Her: (laughing) "I mean Celebrity Cruise line..."
Me:  "I knew that. (I didn't) I was joking. Yes, Celebrity."
Her: "No. That's wrong."
Me:  "No, that's right. Celebrity."
Her:  "I mean that's not where I saw you. It was more recently. Are you sure you don't go to the Long Beach area?"
Me:  "I kind of know that about myself. I mean, you know, as far as I know me. Which is pretty well."
Her: (sigh) "This is driving me crazy."
Me:  "It's probably that we've just seen each other around town. Do you live here?"
Her:  "No. (offering nothing further)"
Me:  "Where do you live?"
Her:  "Me? (duh) I live in Scottsdale."
Me:  "Um. I thought you said you don't live in Scottsdale....just now....?"
Her:  "Oh! (laughing) Of course..."
Me:  "'Cause I doubt you live in this store...."
Her:  "I have it. It was last year at this time at the Friedman's holiday party in Paradise Valley!"
Me:  "What was?"
Her:  "That's where I met you!!! You were with........."
Me: (interrupting) "No. I don't know them and I wasn't at their party."
Her:  "Are you sure? Because I'm almost positive that's where.."
Me:  "I make it a policy to never drink so much that I forget where I am. Or where I've been."
Her:  "Dammit. That was a great party, by the way. You would love Dodie."
Me:  "Dodie?"
Her:  "Friedman.  She is so like you! Very witty and lots of fun. And I have a feeling you're a fun gal."
Me:  "I'm nothing if not fun. Personified. (laughs)"
Her:  "They're on a cruise this year, but when they come back, we have to get together. I mean, you and Dodie and me. Lunch, or something."
Me:  "Well, I love meeting new people. Sure, let's do that."
We exchange names/numbers.
Me:  "Well, nice talking to you. I have to run..."
Her: "Me too. Can I give you a hug?"
Me:  "I'm a hugger, and 'tis the season, so, sure."
(Hugs)
We head off in opposite directions as she says:
"I'm so glad I ran into you again!"

"Again?" I thought.

Who's on first?

HOLIDAY BLUES

Has it been a year already? The holidays are quickly approaching, and though they conjure up joy, peace, and good will among men, the reality is that for millions of people, the holidays are welcomed with as much enthusiasm as a root canal. There are ways, however, to make it all far less painful, and possibly rewarding!

First, identify the underlying cause. There is one, and usually they are rooted in loneliness or anxiousness. "Alone" doesn’t have to mean “lonely,” and worrying about the future wastes your present.

Here are some suggestions that have worked for me on those "off" holidays:

1. Force yourself to go out into the world, and look for someone to help. This can be volunteering at homeless, children’s, women’s or animal shelters, nursing homes and house-bound seniors, Food kitchens, and more. Or start small; all around you there are people that can be helped in small ways that will make their days brighter. I am quite tall, for example. When I go to the market, I always offer to help reach an item for a more “vertically-challenged” person who appears to be looking upward on any aisle. They love it, and you will feel great. Remember, the more love you give, the more you get.

A link to find where to volunteer: http://www.volunteermatch.org/

2. Get moving! If you have a piece of exercise equipment at home, use it relentlessly. It will promote endorphins, so you’ll feel better, and while everyone is piling on pounds, you’ll be whittling them off and looking great. If you have no equipment, climbing stairs or even jogging in place will work wonders.

3. Get busy! What have you been putting off that needs to be done around your house? We all have those "projects" that we put off. No time like the present!

4. Pamper yourself. Indulge in long hot bubble baths while listening to your favorite music. Keep hydrated, and not by hitting the bottle, unless it’s water! Get plenty of sleep, but as a reward, not an escape. After all that exercise, it shouldn’t be difficult.

5. Avoid listening to music on the radio and watching television. Oddly, the joyous Christmas music is mostly sad. Avoid cable television from at least Thanksgiving to New Year’s. The shows on every channel will be holiday-themed. Rent your favorite upbeat DVD’s and watch them for entertainment, or find an instructional channel and learn something new.
   
   
6. If none of the above appeal to you: Ignore them altogether. If you are alone and you hate that fact, sometimes it’s just best to make Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s “just another day.” It’s a challenge if you leave your home, but I recommend at least going out to a movie. Pick one that’s not holiday-themed, preferably an action movie. They help to get the adrenaline flowing. No sappy romances!
   
   
   As a last resort, have some chuckles or a smile listening to my "Helpful Holiday Tips" at http://www.youtube.com/user/LFAZ Laughter always was, and ever will be, the best medicine.